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Just finished the Hunger Games series. It was breathtaking. I'm seriously considering reading the first one again. Made me cry. Very powerful. Makes me want to step back and reassess the human race. It also confirmed my belief that (and I quote from the book) "We're fickle, stupid beings with poor memories and a great gift for self-destruction". Ahhhh, so nice to have my viewpoint finally pinned down into the perfect phrase. Thank you Ms. Collins. I think I love you.

Follow this link:
http://danielleorama.blogspot.com/2010/05/poilu-giveaway-519-531.html

Its been forever since Ive posted...and now I have the thinking bug. Ive been reflecting on things recently and one of the things Ive been thinking about is how much Ive changed. I cant tell if its for the better or worse. Since Ive moved out of my parents house Ive become more and more and more domesticated. I used to be such a free party girl. used to make out with whoever I wanted and drink all the time and be free and funloving. I used to go to the clubs to just dance with my girls, and now....now....haha. Now I feel like all Im worried about is what color to paint the bathroom, what to make for dinner, when the laundry is going to be done, and when I can have time to finish my damn cross stitch. Wtf happened? Its been just over a year since I last really let myself go and did something crazy (drive 45 min. to meet a guy I didn't know and get drunk...it was awesome). But now its like my life has leveled out. Im thinking about the future and when Im going to get married and when I want to have kids and how to prepare for all of it. Im not sure I like the feeling...I miss the rush of doing whatever I wanted to, even if its crazy and being drunk while I did it. I mean, I haven't smoked pot in almost two years! I miss that feeling! I miss the feeling of getting blackout drunk and trying to sleep on the porch in the snow! I miss the excitement of partying and having that awesome confidence that the drink brings. Im no where near confident anymore, quite the opposite. Im falling back into my ditch of hating the way I look and feeling that I cant change anything about it. I just want to party more, get out more and stop being so domesticated. Its pretty much hit rock bottom when on the night before my day off, instead of doing something fun...I cook dinner, clean up the house, do a load of laundry, and then go to bed early. Blah!
Not that I dont love doing that sometimes. Im actually quite proud of myself for becoming more responsible and taking care of things. And I do love updating the house a lot and decorating a lot...I just wish that wasn't all I was doing in my life right now.

Sorry this is so long and somewhat of a ramble...just needed to think out loud.

Another question for outside opinions...sooo, I want a kitten pretty bad. Buuut, Im allergic to cats. I talked to a couple of vets about it and they said that if I keep the kitten for a couple months that my allergies will neautral out and I wont be allergic to cats anymore. I would love that...my boyfriend agreed that if I buy the kitten and pay for everything that I can have one, although he isn't too keen on the idea, he doesnt care too much. I have a girl at work who is giving away free kittens, and two are black and grey like I want. Is it worth it to get a kitten even though Im allergic?

Also, my boyfriend has a ten month old overly excited puppy who might try to play rough with it a few times but I think after that it could hold its own....we live together so the puppy is technically half mine as well, but she doesnt like me as much as she likes him so its his. Another con would be my parents are very against it, although I dont live with them so they have no say in the matter.

What do you guys think?

Hoookay, this is a list so far (not including people I haven't heard back from) on who I am making for and if I know what Im doing for them yet. Just because I know what Im doing for someone and not someone else doesnt mean I love anyone more then the others, its just that the muses struck me with an idea at that moment. :)

kashmirdreamer  -info. completed - idea known and gathering materials
jipsi_starr  - info. completed - idea known and gathering materials
s_castlecloud - info. completed - idea known and gathering materials
tijolos - info. completed - muses still talking
a_minute_in_me - info. completed - idea known, materials in pocession, should start this week
star_shooter14 - info. completed - idea known and gathering materials
yessire - in progress of gathering info.
krysta_rae - in progress of gathering info.
bunny_emotions - in progress of gathering info.
nunewesen - in progress of gathering info.

2010.
Will you be looking for a new job?
Hopefully not, Im making good money where I am...I would like to stay that way.

Will you be looking for a new relationship?
Nope! Im with my one and only.

New house?
Nope, Brian and I signed up for this house for three years and this next year will be year two. 

What will you do different in 2010?
Be calmer and work harder

New Years resolution?
-Nop more soda
-lose weight (everyone has this one)
-Let go of things and not take things to heart
-relax more, not get as angry as quick.

What will you NOT be doing in 2010?
-Let my house get as messy as I usually do
-be a packrat at all (already thinking spring cleaning!)
-Doing anything half-assed

Any trips planned?
I want to go to NYC in March or April...and then somewhere warm in Nov. And the Lake for a week in June 

Wedding plans?
-Well, not for me...

What's on your calendar?
-Not a whole lot right now, but it will fill up. ;)

What can't you wait for?
-Turning 21!!!!

What would you like to see happen different?
- Things to go my way for once...or to be extremely happy.

What about yourself will you be changing?
-From 2009, Ive become too stressed about life. I want to let that go.

What happened in '09 that you didn't think would ever happen?
- Moving in with my baby <3.

Will you be nicer to the people you care about?
- I try to be nice, but I would like to be a happier person.

Will you dress differently this year than you did in 09?
-I will dress in more professional attair, and hopefully be able to afford more/nicer clothes...and more band shirts...and new jeans.

Are you going to be in school in 2010?
-I dont know, honestly, probably not. But I want to. :/

How will you make more money in 2010?
- Work overtime? 

Will you do charity work?
-I want to voln. at the new humain shelter thats opening a few blocks away. :3 

Are you going to drink on New Years Eve?
- Tonight? Nope...just sparking grape juice. I hafta work at 7am.

Will you be nice to people you don't know?
-If they are nice to me, of course.

Do you expect 2010 to be a worse year for you than 2009?
-Nope, Im hoping it gets better.

How much did you change from this time last year til now?
- Insanely. Ive grown up. Realized I cant fuck around as much. Im trying to become a better person 

Do you plan on having a child?
- Well, no plans...but I am living with my boyfriend of a year...

Will you still be friends with the same people you are friends with now?
-I will try to be unless something happens. 

Major lifestyle changes?
-Hopeing to go back to school and fight into a higher position at work.

Will you be moving?
- Nope, I like where I am...we just need to do some updating.

What will you make sure doesn't happen in 2010 that happened in 09?
- Me giving up too easily on things (like previous jobs)...and paying all my bills...on time!

What are your New Years Eve plans?
-Spending the midnight with Brian and then bed...hafta work at the buttcrack of dawn. Bleh

Will you have someone to kiss at midnight?
-Yes. <3

Wishes for 2010?
-Finish updating the house, plant a veggie garden outside, calmer puppy, learn to cook a little, purge half of our stuff, get a kitty cat, turn 21!, ect. ect.

From this day on none of my boyfriends friends that are girls are allowed in my house. How did one little comment start such fucking drama? So backstory: When my boyfriend and I started dating a year ago he had two very close best friends who happened to be a couple, Ryan and Courtney. We partied with them a couple times and another girl Stephanie a couple times. I found out a few months after that, that Stephanie had been gunning for my boyfriend and trying to steal him from me and she didn't like me. I also found out that Courtney (her best friend) was trying to help her. I was already living with Brian so it didn't matter to me, I had him, I win. Stephanie continued to hate me for no reason other then I had Brian. We rarely talked and only hung out when her and Courtney were. I dont like when Brian drinks without me there and her there cause who really trusts women? Not me.
I was playing on facebook after he went to Ryan and Courtney's house to have his guys night, Steph had left "Thank GOD annoying girl wont be there tonight...you know who Im talking about...stupid girl!" On Courtney's wall. I knew who she was talking about. I was pissed because I dont ever say anything about her. I called Stephanie and bitch in a text to Brian and he got so drunk later that he showed Courtney his phone (for other reasons). She read the texts, and told Steph who then called me a maylay of names and came out with her hate and blah blah blah. Her status today reads "Im going to punch the bitch in the face" (since she's the bitch, then she must be punching herself.) Courtney hates me, Stephanie hates me, and the list goes on.
What the fuck is with women these days? Why the drama? I try to stay away from it. I hate drama, I think its pointless and degrading. When Im attacked like that, and then my boyfriend is degraded. Ugh.
Well, Im glad Im not friends with either of those vipors anymore. They can go burn in hell and fuck themselves. They are not allowed in my house, Im never going to their house. Brian isn't allowed to see Stephanie ever again. I hate shit like this, Happy Fucking Holidays...not.

So, Ive been obsessed with his most famous poem the last few days, maybe writing it down will get it out of my head...

Some say the world will end in fire,
some say ice.
From what Ive tasted of desire I hold with those who favor fire.
But if I had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
to say that for destruction ice
is also great and would suffice.

I also want to share this amazing poem by Robert Frost again, because it is just as beautiful:


Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth.

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same.

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.


As a side note, x-mas is coming, I have like...20 people to get presents for and I haven't started on any of it...I still have to buy Brian and ipod too. This is going to be interesting. Ugh. I need to get started...I dont have the motivation though. Its going to be sooo much money. Although I have an interview tomorrow for a full time job, so hopefully I get it and can work a full time and part time job at the same time without killing myself. Haha.

Enjoy my new 'Elf' user pic.!

Sorry, last note: Listen to Katie Gray's song 'Set Free' sometime today and let it take you back and remember. Its such a beautiful song!

October 6th: Im a complete lame ass and didn't have time to do an activity or craft project last night, so I bought some Apple Cider and drank my first cup of my favorite fall drink. :)

Tonight, I dont know what's in store. Haha, I never do. Probably not anything big...maybe that will continue tomorrow night.

Hookay...so now for the last two days...

October 4th: Brian and I made 'potion bottles'. I spent about two hours making labels on the computer and then we printed them off. There were five in total. We had already bought five smaller glass bottles from Michaels for $1 a piece (so we spent $5 total on this project). We printed off the labels, cut them out and then on 3 of the labels we burned the edges with a lighter to make it look older and more 'witchy'. Jut used regular glue on the back and attached them. :) They look well done and we now have bottles of: Dragon scales, Bat wings, Fairy Wings, Instant Zombie Powder, and Spider Vemon.

October 5th: About two weeks ago I bought glass markers (markers made to draw on glass). I didn't have much motivation yesterday, so desided to make a mural on our front window. I draw a big dead tree with orange leaves and then gravestones with ghosts peeking out, and bats. Im going to do dinosaur sceletons on the side windows (for the love I have of dinos! <3)

Today's project: Either making Apple cinnamon loaf bread, or maybe a craft project with the hubby again. Although today is my brother's b-day party...so I dont know how much time I'll have.

And now my puppy is whining to go outside, and I must cater to her every need...so off I go!